In Memory…

 

Rocky April 21, 2004 - February 3, 2009

 

Rocky died last night.  He was in a fight with another male dog that we own (not a whippet) and he did not recover from surgery to repair his wounds.  As some of you know, these 2 dogs have tangled in the past so we built separate kennels to keep them apart.  I am not sure how, but Rocky and some of the other whippets dug under the fence, through the chicken wire and went into the other kennel.  We really thought we had done everything we could to prevent this from happening.   I will always blame myself for not doing more.  

What can I say, we are all devasted.  Rocky, like all of our dogs, was really special and he will be missed so much.  Those of you who know me well, know that my dogs are my kids.  I don’t look at them as just animals or household pets, I love them like humans.  I don’t expect everyone to understand that but I know a lot of you will and have been through this yourselves.  Rocky was almost 5 years old- way too young to die and certainly not like this.  Although the vet said that his last moments were peaceful and he was not in any pain, he had not regained consciousness from surgery yet.  Before I left the hospital yesterday I got to see him and kiss him.  I didn;t know it would be the last time but I am so glad they let me do that.  His eyes were open and I know he knew I was there, even though he was out of it.  

The picture of him at the top is him doing what he loved most in life- playing with his tennis ball!  No matter what he was doing,  eating, sleeping, laying on the couch- he always had his ball close by.   We play fetch with the whippets everyday and instead of chasing all the balls, Rocky ran full speed with his ball in his mouth!  Something he passed on to his son Cupid, who does the same thing.  Rocky loved to run, it was in his genes.  Here is a picture of him at one of his races several years ago:

 

 

He was so fast!  He loved to chase that lure.  

Here he is with his mate, Daisy:

Rocky and Daisy

 

They gave us 2 litters and 20 beautiful puppies!  We kept 3 of them- Zoe, Cupid and Romeo aka “RJ- “Rocky Jr.”   There is so much of Rocky in those pups- Cupid with his ball fetish and Romeo with his “emo” personality, he left a quite a legacy behind in his offspring.  It’s a huge comfort for me right now.  Here are some pics of his kids:

Zoe, Tigger, Romeo, Cupid

 

 

Rocky taking a nap with Cupid

 

 

 

Rocky with Zoe

 

Romeo (RJ) and Cupid

 

 

 

 

Valentine's Day Litter 07

 

It was awful not feeling him at the end of the bed last night- he always had a habit of taking 5 minutes to move the covers around and then plop down right on top of our feet!   That was his spot and god forbid you wiggled!  We called him “Emo Dog” b/c he was always whining for attention, even if you were petting him for 20 min, as soon as you stopped he would whine for more.  He loved to have his belly rubbed.  His fur was like velvet.  At night, he would howl, and get the other whippets to howl, for no other reason than to hear themselves howl.  Sometimes he would look at you and “talk”.  I was trying to teach him to howl “I love you” like those dogs you sometimes see on Letterman or YouTube!  He was a great dog.  I know I will see him again someday, in whatever existence comes after this, b/c I am one of those crazy people who believes animals have souls and are forever bonded with their humans.  I hope that is he happy and chasing that ball around, wherever he may be.

 

When It’s OK to KICK some ASS!

‘We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. 
For those of you who can’t join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we (Vets) would like your assistance:

1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem – kick their ass.

2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest – kick their ass.

3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.

4 (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others that you used to be ‘Special Forces,’ and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old. Now, it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.

5. Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, ‘Do you fly a jet?’ Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).

6. If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard ‘non-military’, Inform them of their mistake – and kick their ass.

7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her – of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.

8. Don’t try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran. We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief (CinC). The President (for those who didn’t know) is our CinC regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives meet. All we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. If you keep asking us the same stupid questions repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked!

9. ‘Your mama wears combat boots.’ never made sense to me – stop saying It! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore could kick your ass!

10. Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying ‘Let’s go kill those Commies!’ And stop asking us where he is! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me, if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick their ass!

11. ‘Wingnut’ (Air Force), ‘Jarhead’ (Marines), ‘Grunt’ (Army), ‘Squid’ (Navy), ‘Puddle Jumpers’ (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them could get your ass kicked.

12. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get it’s ‘ass kicked.

‘It’s the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press.’

‘It’s the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.’

‘It’s the Veteran, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.’

‘It’s the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.’

One more:

13. If you ever see anyone either standing for or singing the national anthem in Spanish – KICK THEIR ASS

And More SNOW!

We had a genuine BLIZZARD yesterday!  We were all ready to go have some fun in the snow, when Zoe and Cupid dashed out the front door and disappeared into the white-out!  So we got in the car and went after them.  Big mistake!  The snow was falling so fast, we couldn’t even follow their tracks.  We did spot them at one point, hauling ass across the desert after a jack rabbit!  After about an hour, I really started to get worried.  Whippets are stupid when there are rabbits involved and they could easily chase them for miles, stop and not know where the hell they are.  Since they have no body fat, they have nothing to keep them warm and the snow was really coming down hard!  Here are some pix I took while Nick and I were driving around looking for them:

Desert Heights

Desert Heights

As we turned down one road, I saw 2 dogs running and thought they were Zoe and Cupid, but it turned out to be coyotes!!  They were big and fluffy and fast!  I managed to get one pic through the windshield-  He is looking right at me, right in the center of the pic, beneath the windshield wiper!

Coyote!

I tried to follow them- big mistake!  I couldn’t see that I had turned into a wash and not a road!  Half way down, I spotted Cupid, sitting there in the snow like a dumb ass, soaking wet!  He jumped right into the car and Zoe showed up about a minute later, also soaking wet and freezing!  I cranked up the heat and drove forward and…got stuck.  The front right tire was about a foot under the sand.

Totally Effed.

That’s Zoe in the driver’s seat.    Cupid was curled up in a ball in the passenger seat, under the heater.

Wet, naughty Cupid!

I was on the phone with my mom, who was also out driving around looking for the dogs.  I told her I was stuck but had no way to describe where I was!  So I sent Nick out to walk up to the road so she could pick him up and go get a shovel.  Well, he couldn’t find the road.  He walked around in circles like that  guy from “Into the Wild”.  While he was gone, I was outside, trying to dig the front wheel out, with my bare hands!  An exercise in futility.  Everytime I tried to get out, I dug in further.  Nick came back totally frozen so i let him sit in the car while I took the GPS and started walking toward the main road.  Halfway there, I saw a pickup truck headed toward my car, so I turned around and went back.  It was some tweaker in a 2 wheel drive truck- not too bright.  I appreciate he made the effort but there was no way anything lass than a 4×4 was going to pull me out!  He got stuck.  Then my mom called and said one of our neighbors who owns a towing service was on the way- he lived right by the wash and knew exactly where we’d got stuck AND he had a 4×4.  After the tweaker unstuck himself and took off, he hooked up to my car and we tried for about 30 min to pull it out.  Finally, after a lot of swearing, we got it out!  He dragged me backwards about 500ft and then I was able to turn around and get back on the road.  I wiped out twice on the way back to my house, but the whippets were fine and that’s all that mattered.  I gave my neighbor $20 and a hug and that was the end of our adventure!

Here’s what my house looked like:

My house

The whippets were totally mesmerized by the snow, especially Romeo.

Romeo

Rocky, Cupid, Tigger

Today, the sun is out and the snow is melting!!   The mountains are covered in snow- something I have not seen in the 10 yrs that I’ve lived here!

29 Palms

Zoe

Daisy

Rocky

Gromit

Nick and Chaz

Despite the fact that my whole house is full of mud, my car is filthy and I am sick as a dog, I really hope it snows again on Christmas!!

Let it Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow…

First snow of the year!  I took these pix today at YV High School with my camera phone!

SUNDAY FUNNIES

About a Boy…

I didn’t think subbing could get any worse than it did Monday, when I wrote out 17 detentions slips for a 6th grade class.  It did.  I should have know it was going to be bad when the principal came in during homeroom and threatened to take away their Christmas party if they misbehaved today.  Well, they sure as hell aren’t having a Christmas party this year, after the shit they pulled today.  Which is really unfortunate for the dozen kids who behaved and tried to do their work.

There were 31 kids in the class.  I had to use a microphone.  If you have to use a microphone, I think it’s a pretty clear indication that the class is too damn big!  The district is so underfunded it’s ridiculous and it is the kids and the teachers who suffer.  For now.  In about 10 yrs, society is going to reap what it’s sowing and it’s not going to be pretty.

I wrote detention slips for 8 kids, and that was after I had warned them about 5 times.  6 of those kids decided to just rip them up and skip detention.   Of course, someone narc’ed on them, so I went out to the playground and found the little bastards, all of which went to the principal’s office.

I went to the faculty lounge while they were at PE and the teachers there filled me in on the class- “they’re a bunch of assholes!”  Um, yeah, I kinda figured that out.  “Watch out for the psycho!”  oh, you mean Jack?? The kid who spent all morning talking to a glove on his hand and drawing pictures of decapitated bodies???  That kid?  Or is there another psychopath I should know about?!  The kid looked like a serial killer.  I threw him out twice.

Then one teacher came over and whispered that one of their faculty members killed himself last month.  Just in case any of the kids brought it up.

Over the course of the day, the principal came back in twice.  They didn’t show her much respect either, so it wasn’t just a case of “torture the sub.”    The teachers in the lounge were right- the kids were just a bunch of assholes, plain and simple.  Products of their environment.  I blame the parents, 100%.  Kids will be kids, especially at that age, but the level of disrespect and complete disregard for authority was stunning.

When I turned in my key at the end of the day, they were amazed that I had stayed all day.  I didn’t realize I had the option of fleeing, or I probably would have!  They are not paying me enough to take this kind of shit!  It was so disheartening and depressing and infuriating…but one kid made it all worthwhile.

His name was Dustin.  You could tell he was dirt poor by the way he was dressed.  His clothes were too small and dirty, and he wore a black leather motorcycle jacket that was way too big for him.  He was a loner- sat next to my desk by himself, didn’t really seem to have any friends.  He sort of became my little helper.  Sweet kid.  When the recess bell rang he begged me to let him stay inside with me.  He said no one would ever play with him and they had been terrorizing him for 6 yrs and he’s “had enough of it.”  He wasn’t even angry, he was past that, it was like his spirit had been crushed.  So we talked.  His dad has “drug problems” and he doesn’t have a mom.  He and his dad were living with his dad’s girlfriend until she kicked them out, and now he stays with his grandparents.    He loves 2 things- his dirtbike and grey wolves.  So I told him I ride a motorcycle and we talked about bikes for awhile and then wolves and he totally lit up.  After that, we talked again about the other kids and I told him not to let it get to him.  I told him there will always be jerks in life and it’s ok to ignore them because there are people who care.  He started crying and said they had been mean to him for six years.  What do you tell a kid like that?  Jr high will be better?  High School will be better??  It might, but probably not.  He’ll be going to school with the same kids who terrorize him, until he graduates, IF he stays in school.  I didn’t really know what to say.  I told him he was an awesome, smart kid and he can do anything he wants in life.  At the end of the day I walked him to his bus and he thanked me for talking to him and complimenting his jacket and said he hoped I would come back.  Broke my fucking heart!  I literally broke down in tears on the way home.  Not because the kids had put me through hell- that pisses me off but hey, tomorrow’s another day.  (and I had a great class of 6th graders yesterday…a nice surprise)  I was just so upset to see that poor kid’s spirit crushed, not just by the other kids but by the adults in his life.  It just kills me.

So, I keep asking myself, “why am I doing this???”   Why am I on this path?  What is life trying to teach me now?  I don;t need this job.  I could quit tomorrow with no repurcussions.  This isn’t what I spent 7 yrs in college and grad school for.  The pay sucks.  Why am I doing this???   I suppose the answer is obvious.  Kids like Dustin is why I am doing this.  And the high school girl I had in my Home Ec class last week.  I am doing it b/c someone has to give a fuck.  If I help one kid, it’s worth all the BS.  I may never see Dustin again, but I know that he felt good about himself today.  That’s why I am not going to quit.

SUNDAY FUNNIES

I Survived High School…again!

Forensic jobs out here in the boonies are few and far between.  I finished my Masters 3 yrs ago and I am still waiting for a position to open up.  Unless someone dies, moves or retires, I am pretty much screwed!  The state doesn’t have the money to hire more forensic people, even though the backlog is ridiculous.  I am on every eligible list in 2 counties for every forensic related job, and also NCIS.  I have done all I can do.  So, in the meantime, I have decided to substitute teach for the school district, K-12.  There are 17 schools in this district and I’m told the work is steady.

Today was my first day!  I was assigned a Home Economics class at a high school that has the worst reputation in the area.  I woke up around 4am last night having a panic attack, I was so nervous!  I got to the school, checked in, picked up all the keys and the attendance rosters and went to my first classroom.  Well, the teacher didn’t leave any instructions or lesson plans.  All I knew is that it was a Nutrition class!  Which was actually a relief- if it had been sewing, I would have been screwed!  When I walked in the room and saw all the sewing machines, I almost had a stroke!  I don’t do well with sewing machines, my fingers always seem to end up getting sewn to the fabric.  Nutrition, I can handle!  There were about 25 kids in the class- mostly 10-12th graders.  While I was taking attendance, the teacher came in and stuffed a big folder in my hand full of lesson plans and worksheets and then bolted!   She couldn’t get out of there fast enough!  And they couldn’t wait for her to leave.  Apparently she is “boring”, “stupid” and “German”.  LOL  We had to go over a worksheet for their test tomorrow…on WATER.  Yes, water.  They were a pretty well behaved group, especially after I told them it was my first day and begged them not to do anything that would get me fired! When I asked if anyone had any questions, a kid in the front asked if I would marry him. I told him if he stayed in his chair and completed his worksheet, I would think about it!  lol    It worked!

After that period ended I had to run to the opposite end of campus to open up the next classroom.  It’s a good thing these kids don’t have to stop at lockers between bells, b/c there is no way they would ever get to class in time.  They don;t get lockers at the high school here, instead, they have to lug 50lbs of textbooks around.   Chiropracters take note!  You’ve got a whole generation of new customers coming your way in about 10 yrs!  Anyway, I got to the room in time.  There were about 20 kids in this class- also Nutrition, although at least half of them were “special ed”.   I don;t know if it was b/c it was after lunch or what, but these kids were all jacked up!  They came in like a herd of elephants, screaming and swearing and frothing at the mouth!  Then they noticed me- the sub…and they were so happy their teacher was gone that they sat right down and actually shut up for 2 seconds so I could take attendance!  Then they totally ripped the teacher, just like the previous class, using the very same adjectives “boring” and “stupid”.  They left out the “German” part but added “she totally needs to get laid!!”   Followed by a discussion of her marital status “she’s married, she has no excuse!” which really made me laugh b/c for all their worldly wisdom, they actually think married people have sex!!  I didn;t want to burst their bubbles, so  I whipped out the water worksheets and had them work on those for about 40 min.  The teacher had made a note to give a particular girl a worksheet with the answers already on it because she “never does the work anyway.”   I knew exactly who she was without even looking at the attendance sheet b/c she came in the room screaming and yelling about some “motherfucker”.  So I went over and gave her the answer key and the girl sitting next to her was all “why doesn’t she have to do the worksheet!??” and the girl said “because I’m STUPID!”  Well, I could tell this chic had behavioral issues but she didn;t seem dim to me, so I said “you’re not stupid.  This is a worksheet on WATER…you think you can handle that?” and she was all “HELL yeah!”   And she did.  Not only did she do her work, she stopped disrupting the class.  It made me think…her teacher had thrown in the towel- the girl didn’t want to do her work, the teacher didn’t give a shit- it was easier to just let the girl not do the work.  Maybe all some of these kids need is a little positive reenforcement!  They get labeled special ed but are integrated into the classroom, where they obviously feel “stupid” and holding them to lower standards from their classmates only makes them feel worse!!  What the hell is going on in our educational system?!  If you treat the kids like animals, they’re going to act like animals.  I think that if you show them some respect, you’ll get it back, and I really saw that in action today.  I had such a great time walking around the room, talking to each one of them while they were doing their work,  It’s a small thing, but I think it gives them a little validation.  Tomorrow they get their “boring, stupid, German” teacher back, but today, at least, they had one good class and maybe that’s something.

Good Omens

On Thanksgiving Day, at the end of my road….

Rainbow, 29 Palms CA

World Philosophy Day

Did you know today is World Philosophy Day??

I admit it, I am a total nerd.  I didn’t join a sorority in college, instead, I became a member of “Phi Sigma Tau”- an International Philosophy Honor Society.  That’s the equivalent of joining the chess club in high school.  Dweeb!  I had a double major- philosophy and law.   Even now, it sounds pretentious!  What can I say, I had a mad crush on the Philosophy professor at my school, so it was not entirely an intellectual pursuit!  I learned a lot about philosophy though.

The author of this article asks “Four Philosophical Questions to Make Your Head Hurt”.  Um…ok.  I read them, thought about them…my head feels fine! The questions:

1. Should we Kill Healthy People For Their Organs??

Really stupid hypothetical, and it’s an age old question- do the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few…or as Mr. Spock said, “the One.”   I think the key word in this equation is “kill”.  My answer?  Hell no.  Took me all of 3 seconds.

2. Are you the Same Person Who Started Reading This Article?

Author states “In the end, then, no attempt to make sense of your continued existence over time works. You are not the person who started reading this article”

Everything in the Universe is constantly in flux, so in an abstract sense, he’s right.  I am not the same person now as I was 3 minutes, or even 3 seconds ago.  In a non-abstract, mundane sense- yes, I am the same person.  I did not start out reading this as Michelle and end as a Vegas pole dancer named Kitty.

3. Is That Really A Computer Screen In Front of You?

The author says: “…you cannot independently check your senses. You cannot jump outside of the experiences they provide to check they’re generally reliable. So your senses give you no reason at all to believe that there is a computer screen in front of you.”

Well no wonder the dude gave himself a migraine!  While it is true that you can’t independently check your senses, does this make them any less real?   If I think I see a ghost- that’s my perception- it becomes “real” to me.  Is it real in the context of the material world?  Who cares.  If it’s real to you, it’s real. Those billions of tiny purple spiders I saw on my windshield when I dropped acid back in the day…those were fucking real!  So yeah, I am really looking at a computer screen right now.   Of course, it could just be the residual effects of the acid talking.

4. Did you Really Choose To Read This Article??

Author states:  “So freewill begins to look incompatible both with causal determination and with randomness. None of us, then, ever do anything freely and responsibly.”

Yes I did.  I could have just skipped it and checked out what’s new on YouPorn, but I chose to read this. He’s saying I was predestined to read this article, and everything else I have done or will do in life.  I don’t believe that.  I think we all have choices and there are an infinite number of outcomes, depending on what we choose.  Is there some “grand design” to the Universe?  I’m comfortable in saying I’m not sure.  That’s the great part of being an existentialist, you can answer questions like this with 2 words- “I exist.”  Period.  Ok, that’s 3 words.

I wonder if the author will be disappointed that his questions did not give me a headache?

He did end the article with one of my favorite quotes though, so I’ll give him props for that.

“…the end of our exploring,

Will be to arrive where we started,

And know the place for the first time.”~ TS Eliot